Canada Day 2013

We braved Parksville Beach on Canada Day with a 22 month old and 3 week old and a momma who was still in the middle of her C-section recovery.  Because we went after nap time, we had to park far away and carry all of our stuff, which was quite a feat with me carrying B in a wrap and holding K's hand.  Cole had to haul most of it since I'm still not supposed to be carrying anything heavier than B (although I did, but payed for it the next day).  We took a picnic dinner and let K play the night away in the splash park and playground.  She also made a sandcastle with daddy while waiting for the fireworks.  We got her into her PJs and she cuddled with Cole while ooh-ing and aah-ing at the lights in the sky. 

B did really well considering she wasn't even a month old, this was her first big outing and we were gone for like 7 hours and I'm not exclusively breastfeeding.  Thankfully B doesn't spit out cool/cold bottles like K did as an infant. 

    

Here's a video of K conquering another climbing challenge at the playground: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bydna0OjNlI&feature=youtu.be

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

Co-Sleeper

Beyond the sleep I lost with regular feedings when K was a baby, I also lost sleep when she refused to sleep anywhere else but our bed.  I could never fully sleep with an infant in my bed.  This time around I knew I had to do something about that.  It wasn't realistic (for me) to think B would never sleep in our bed, so I had to find something that worked better.  With 2 kids, I knew I needed all the sleep possible.  Before she was born, I was perusing the classifieds and found a co-sleeper.  I bought it for $20 and hoped this would be the answer.

First night home with B, which I have already written about, was made monumentally easier with this co-sleeper.  Also, B sleeps in longer in the morning and during nap time than K so I have been able to leave B on my bed without having to worry so much.  My sleep at night is far superior to the sleep I got with K.  I can roll away from B and not worry about her being smothered or falling off or getting rolled on.  Our lovely king sized bed fits me, Cole and B's co-sleeper without any of us having to touch the other- just the way we like to sleep...well Cole and I anyways.  I highly recommend it.  I love that B gets to be close to me like she wants but also gets to practise falling asleep on her own. 

 

Hooray for Sleep!

love my chubby cheeked girl

We Can Do Hard Things

The second baby is a much less stressful experience.  I felt more confident, more prepared, more sane. Unfortunately, I had to use my experience to deal with some really hard things in the first month of B's life.  But we can do hard things.  Thankfully, we don't always have to do them alone.  With a lot of prayer, grit and a husband and good friends to help, I survived.

When we got home from the hospital, I was prepared for the awful night ahead.  Anyone who has had abdominal surgery knows getting up out of bed is murder the first week.  And a C-section means a baby and that means a night full of getting up to feed and change diapers.  But I had done it before so I was mentally prepped.  What I wasn't prepared for was the flu that hit Cole that night.  Fever, coughing, vomiting- you name it.  My heart dropped.  I didn't think it was a good idea to have Cole in the same room as us that night so he slept in his office and I spent my first night home alone with B getting up out of bed by myself.  My dear friend Rachel, who had already had K for a whole day and night took her back the next day so I could rest since Cole couldn't come near B.  She also brought me dinner two nights in a row. 

The next hard things came about through breastfeeding.  I don't know why it is that me and breastfeeding have such a tumultuous relationship.  With K, I endured months of pain and depression, and with B I dealt with a clogged duct, mastitis and thrush all within a matter of weeks.  My friend Tanya took K for an entire day during the mastitis and dropped off probiotic supplements during the thrush. 

I am grateful that these hard things came the second time.  I think they may have killed me the first time.  We can do hard things.  But if people offer help, don't do the hard things alone. 

Birth Story for "B"

On Thursday, June 6, I was at a "Pregnancy Sucks" party where I received a phone call from the hospital informing me that my C-section was scheduled for that Saturday and I was to come in for pre-admittance on Friday.  I had gone as overdue as they would let me hoping a V-Bac would occur but no real labour started on its own and induction isn't allowed for moms who have had a previous C-section. 

Saturday morning, around 5:30am, Cole and I left the house (my mom was in town to watch K), took a last pregnancy photo and walked to the hospital.  It would have been more impressive if the hospital was further away than a 10 minute walk.  Normally there are labour pains to prepare your mind for your impending child, so walking in pain free and being told you will meet your baby in a couple hours felt incredibly strange.  I was prepped for surgery and thankfully got the first slot since the OR was booked solid that day.  I got to experience all the things I was in too much pain to notice with K during that C-section prep.  I had more time to feel apprehensive and was much more aware of everything happening around me.  The spinal tap was a breeze this time since I wasn't 10cm dilated being asked to sit still and lean forward. 

My anaesthesiologist and nurses provided small talk while they set me up for the surgery in the OR.  I experienced a whole host of what I'm told are normal reactions to the anaesthetic, which I don't remember from K's birth, but perhaps 30 hrs of labour has made my memory on those kind of details hazy.  Cole entered the room with my doctor and surgeon and before I knew it I was hearing that the baby would be out in a minute and I hadn't even realized they had started cutting me open.  They lifted up the baby for Cole to see and he announced it was a girl.  I felt an overwhelming warmth and joy and a calming impression that this wasn't random.  They brought her over to the place where they clean her up and Cole cut (or for the purposes of a C-section, shortened) the umbilical cord and she was held up for me to see.  She looked so much like K at that point.  She weighed in at 8lbs 2oz, 20 inches long.  Everyone commented on how big she was but she seemed tiny to me because K was 9lbs 8oz, 21.5 inches long. 

They let me hold her while I was on the table being sewn back up, which I didn't experience with K- not sure why.  But it was so nice to start the bonding then- it also helped distract me from what was still taking place in the surgery and made it feel more like a birth experience for me.  She was so alert and constantly had her hands up to her mouth sucking.  She didn't really cry.  We were surprised to see her blue eyes and reddish hair. 

When we went back to my hospital room, the horrific process of recovering from a C-section started.  I don't want to spend time recording those lovely details because it's the worst part.  I much preferred being attended to by the nurses who had experienced it themselves- the drugs were more on time and the empathy was real. 

Things I will record for memory: my surgeon informing us that it was a blessing I didn't go into labour.  My uterine wall was dangerously thin and probably would have ruptured had labour started on its own.  He says pregnancy should continue to not be a problem but labour can never be an option now.  Early C-sections will always have to be scheduled.  But he said he's had patients where he's performed 7 C-sections, so he doesn't feel the need at this time to put a cap on how many kids we have.  Now I'm not saying by any means that I want to have 7- but it's nice to know we get to pick the amount, not my surgeon.  I loved my surgeon this time around.  The one I had with K I didn't even meet till my post partum check up.  I even had an infection from the long labour last time and ended up back in the hospital for a couple days- didn't see her then either.  But the surgeon I had this time talked to me outside the OR, in the OR, and in my hospital room 3 different times.  He also made sure I had enough pain meds.  He was awesome.  Awesome.  I also had one really great nurse, Andrea I think her name was, who helped a lot with breastfeeding.  B was really great and latched on right after the birth but we needed some help with holds so that she had more nutritive sucking. 

One awful side effect of a C-section is the liquid diet they put you on.  I almost lost the will to live last time on it.  This time, since I knew I was having a C-section, I made some homemade soup on Friday for Cole to bring me.  It was a broccoli cheddar soup with lots of veggies and I made sure to puree it so it would be liquid.  I got permission to eat it from my nurse and enjoyed it for the next two days.  I will remember that for next time. 

Something I definitely want to remember is K and B meeting for the first time.  K was so excited and sat very still to be able to hold her.  She was so enamoured and very gentle and didn't want her taken away.

I'm grateful for my mom being able to come for the whole weekend and watch K so Cole could stay with me the whole time.  I'm grateful for those who came to visit in the hospital.  I'm grateful for the nice note sent up with my tray from a friend who works in the hospital.  I'm grateful for having the experience and confidence to not let doctors or nurses scare me this time.  Mostly I have had great experiences with them, but occasionally, the things they say can scare you as a new mom.  Not so much this time. 

B is much more a momma's girl than K ever was.  She is very forth coming with her emotions and not very patient.  If she is hungry, I have less than a second to get her milk before she melts down- she's proving to be quite dramatic.  She has a very lusty cry- thankfully, she only really uses it when hungry.  She is a very happy baby and even smiles already.  She is a decent sleeper.  She does not love the swing like K did.  She likes to cuddle and be held, especially by me.  It means there are not many opportunities to put her down to get things done or play with K right now.  But I know that won't be forever.  She takes a soother.  She eats more than I knew newborns could eat.  She "talks" a lot- especially in her sleep and when she has hiccups.  She holds her head up very well and loves looking around.  She tries desperately to move forward when she is on the ground at tummy time.  She loves to have her fists up at her face, especially when eating or sleeping.  She has very fair colouring.  For the first couple weeks she often looked crosseyed when trying to focus- I thought it was hilarious.  Thankfully, her two longest sleeping stretches are at nap time (K's nap time) and the first part of the night when Cole and I go to sleep.  She happily switches from bottle to breastfeeding.  She loves sleeping in the co-sleeper.  She's a pro at bath time.  Hasn't cried once yet.  K is awesome in water but started off screaming at bath time.  That didn't last long but B has always been super relaxed in the bath- even at the hospital. 

For every other major stage in my life I have felt too young or unprepared or scared.  This was my first experience where (even though I was still nervous) I felt more sure of myself.  I felt ready and capable and adult.  I thought I had been changing diapers and doing laundry for the past two years but it turns out I was growing up.  Parenting is really just your best educated guess applied to many different situations, but this time around I knew that.  I also knew I had the ability to keep a child alive, and happy...well mostly happy.  This time around I was already a mom.